There are a couple things that nobody bothers to forewarn you about when you call to tell him or her you just got engaged.. Some things it goes without saying that each bride must figure out in their own time. As soon as you announce that you’re getting married, everyone will give you some form of advice. But very few people will tell you how stressful wedding planning and negotiating contracts is going to be..
There’s also the pain in your head when you are looking at the estimate on that little piece of paper with all the details of your hopes, dreams and visions to have at your Magical Wedding Day mean while hearing the choir of demons singing “la la la la la You CAN’T afford that!” It’s an awful thing to have to say, to yourself and certainly to a vendor who you were hoping would help you build your dream wedding. But there are a couple facts that nobody ever bothers to tell women while they’re on the process of getting married. There is always room for negotiating!!
Fact 1: There will never be enough time or money. No matter how you try not to, you will always inadvertently stumble across something that you just can’t get married without, and it will be alarmingly out of your budget. Don’t be a compulsive shopper this is NOT the time! When you find yourself in this predicament take a photo of it, show it to your fiancé (it is his wedding and most often money too!) mull it over for a few days then if you still have to have it…look at your budget and see where you can cut corners to afford it!
Fact 2: You can get married without it, your wedding will still be beautiful, and your guests will not know the difference. Unless the item in question is…
A. Officiant
B. Your Partner or
C. The marriage license
You can get married without it. You will still be beautiful, the day will still be perfect and your guests will not miss what was NEVER there to be seen!
Fact 3: No one is going to give you anything for free. The wedding industry is titled that because it’s just that, an industry. People working in this industry (myself included) are some of the sweetest, most patient, most understanding souls on the face of this planet. We are some of the most deserving people when it comes to earning a living. Considering we happily do what we do to attempt to please couples in the face of the possibilities of sheer ugliness and Mother, Mother in Law rampaging.
Just shoot straight when trying to negotiate it’s the best tactic and save you and the vendor time!
Tip 1: Know your budget BEFORE you visit with any vendor. have a ballpark idea of two things: what it was going to run us, and what we were willing/able to pay. It will help you avoid looking at venues and items you will love but can’t afford, and give you and your vendors the confidence to show you choices within your budget. The vendor will feel good and you won’t leave feeling depressed about wishing you could have had this or that!
Tip 2: Don’t ask to see top line. If your budget for flowers is $500. You can’t fill your venue with high priced Mini Calla lilies on a shoestring budget! But find the flowers that are IN season during for your wedding date. Know the difference between your ideal flower choices and ones you can live with. Know what you are willing to trim in centerpieces and aisle décor so you don’t risk cutting something in a moment of fevered price-slashing that’ll be missed later (like your bouquet) never cut back on your bouquet as YOU are the star of YOUR day!
Tip 3: DIY. If you’re really pulling your wedding together on a shoestring budget, you always have the option to do a lot of the work yourself. If you or a friend can bake, make floral arrangements, etc…then call in favors or do it yourself! More money saved or money that can be used to get those Have to Have items!
Tip 4: Use the right language and know your vendors work! Let them know up front by saying “Look, I love your work, you’re remarkably talented. But I have to be honest with you the most money we have is (fill in the blanks). What can I do to make this work for both of us?” A lot of vendors are leery of this speech; so only use it if you are being honest! Vendors do talk to other vendors and if one vendor feels stiffed you may regret your dishonesty in the end!
Tip 5: This is my most important tip for all couples!!!! Say please and thank you and if they did a great job TIP them!!. Vendors are not your slaves, indentured servants or younger siblings. They are human beings. As such, they need to be treated with respect and appreciation. It is only through their mind-blowing talents that you will be clothed, fed, and photographed on your big day. That Magical Moment Wedding you’ll remember each time you think of your wedding day? That feeling was given to you at the creative hands of your vendors, the people who kept the seams from showing, bursting or being mismatched. Saying please when asking to negotiate a package doesn’t make you sound submissive, it makes you sound polite. And thanking people is the best way to make a lasting, positive impression!
“Thank you so much for all your hard work and attention to detail. You’re such an exceptionally talented person, I’m grateful to you for working on my wedding.”
Tip 6: Barter. If you have a service to offer that may benefit your potential vendor, such as a new website, printing brochures and business cards, don’t hesitate to throw it on the table and play to your strengths to help offset the cost of your wedding package. It may not work for you every time, but it may work once and that is better than never! Be sure everyone benefits equally, and get the deal in writing. (This is especially important if you’re amending your contract, as whatever is in writing last is what matters in a court of law, should things head south for any reason.)
So there you go, some effective negotiating techniques. Happy Wedding Planning to you and Don’t forget – we’re all in this together!
Sincerely,
Terry
239-369-7797 or 239-878-3526
Magical Moment Weddings
There’s also the pain in your head when you are looking at the estimate on that little piece of paper with all the details of your hopes, dreams and visions to have at your Magical Wedding Day mean while hearing the choir of demons singing “la la la la la You CAN’T afford that!” It’s an awful thing to have to say, to yourself and certainly to a vendor who you were hoping would help you build your dream wedding. But there are a couple facts that nobody ever bothers to tell women while they’re on the process of getting married. There is always room for negotiating!!
Fact 1: There will never be enough time or money. No matter how you try not to, you will always inadvertently stumble across something that you just can’t get married without, and it will be alarmingly out of your budget. Don’t be a compulsive shopper this is NOT the time! When you find yourself in this predicament take a photo of it, show it to your fiancé (it is his wedding and most often money too!) mull it over for a few days then if you still have to have it…look at your budget and see where you can cut corners to afford it!
Fact 2: You can get married without it, your wedding will still be beautiful, and your guests will not know the difference. Unless the item in question is…
A. Officiant
B. Your Partner or
C. The marriage license
You can get married without it. You will still be beautiful, the day will still be perfect and your guests will not miss what was NEVER there to be seen!
Fact 3: No one is going to give you anything for free. The wedding industry is titled that because it’s just that, an industry. People working in this industry (myself included) are some of the sweetest, most patient, most understanding souls on the face of this planet. We are some of the most deserving people when it comes to earning a living. Considering we happily do what we do to attempt to please couples in the face of the possibilities of sheer ugliness and Mother, Mother in Law rampaging.
Just shoot straight when trying to negotiate it’s the best tactic and save you and the vendor time!
Tip 1: Know your budget BEFORE you visit with any vendor. have a ballpark idea of two things: what it was going to run us, and what we were willing/able to pay. It will help you avoid looking at venues and items you will love but can’t afford, and give you and your vendors the confidence to show you choices within your budget. The vendor will feel good and you won’t leave feeling depressed about wishing you could have had this or that!
Tip 2: Don’t ask to see top line. If your budget for flowers is $500. You can’t fill your venue with high priced Mini Calla lilies on a shoestring budget! But find the flowers that are IN season during for your wedding date. Know the difference between your ideal flower choices and ones you can live with. Know what you are willing to trim in centerpieces and aisle décor so you don’t risk cutting something in a moment of fevered price-slashing that’ll be missed later (like your bouquet) never cut back on your bouquet as YOU are the star of YOUR day!
Tip 3: DIY. If you’re really pulling your wedding together on a shoestring budget, you always have the option to do a lot of the work yourself. If you or a friend can bake, make floral arrangements, etc…then call in favors or do it yourself! More money saved or money that can be used to get those Have to Have items!
Tip 4: Use the right language and know your vendors work! Let them know up front by saying “Look, I love your work, you’re remarkably talented. But I have to be honest with you the most money we have is (fill in the blanks). What can I do to make this work for both of us?” A lot of vendors are leery of this speech; so only use it if you are being honest! Vendors do talk to other vendors and if one vendor feels stiffed you may regret your dishonesty in the end!
Tip 5: This is my most important tip for all couples!!!! Say please and thank you and if they did a great job TIP them!!. Vendors are not your slaves, indentured servants or younger siblings. They are human beings. As such, they need to be treated with respect and appreciation. It is only through their mind-blowing talents that you will be clothed, fed, and photographed on your big day. That Magical Moment Wedding you’ll remember each time you think of your wedding day? That feeling was given to you at the creative hands of your vendors, the people who kept the seams from showing, bursting or being mismatched. Saying please when asking to negotiate a package doesn’t make you sound submissive, it makes you sound polite. And thanking people is the best way to make a lasting, positive impression!
“Thank you so much for all your hard work and attention to detail. You’re such an exceptionally talented person, I’m grateful to you for working on my wedding.”
Tip 6: Barter. If you have a service to offer that may benefit your potential vendor, such as a new website, printing brochures and business cards, don’t hesitate to throw it on the table and play to your strengths to help offset the cost of your wedding package. It may not work for you every time, but it may work once and that is better than never! Be sure everyone benefits equally, and get the deal in writing. (This is especially important if you’re amending your contract, as whatever is in writing last is what matters in a court of law, should things head south for any reason.)
So there you go, some effective negotiating techniques. Happy Wedding Planning to you and Don’t forget – we’re all in this together!
Sincerely,
Terry
239-369-7797 or 239-878-3526
Magical Moment Weddings
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